Loss of a child to suicide 'like a bomb going off'

The parents of a teenager who took her own life have urged people to talk about mental health struggles.

Darcy, 17, the youngest daughter of Michael and Debbie Hollinson from Tavistock, Devon, died in 2021, months before finishing her first year of A-levels.

"When a child takes their own life, it's like a bomb has gone off in the family," Debbie said. "Everything you thought was in your future disappears."

Michael urged people to "have the conversations with your loved ones because I'm hoping they might see there's a life to live beyond these mental health issues".

They described Darcy as having been a confident and ambitious teenager.

Michael said she had wanted to be "so many things".

"She was an archaeologist one day, a dentist the next, a lawyer the following week," he said.

"Somewhere along the way, all of that wonder and joy stopped."

Debbie explained how different their lives had become after Darcy's death.

"You change as a person. People around you change and nothing is the same as it was," she said.

She said people had avoided talking to the family because they either had not known what to say or had been upset.

Michael said: "The conversation around suicide is a tricky one.

"The word is a brutal word, and it's a conversation where people think you don't want to talk about suicide, or your daughter, or your son, or in some cases your mother, father or aunt.

"But people do, we still want to talk.

"We can't just have a world where Darcy's just been erased."

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Michael said he had experienced mental health struggles when he was younger and wished he had spoken to his daughter about those difficulties.

He said: "Before Darcy, I had a moment when it was just too much.

"I was empty, I couldn't see a future and I couldn't find a way out of where I was feeling and I did have an attempt on my life.

"I was saved, thankfully, and the dark tunnel I was in lasted a little while, but it was temporary.

"I wish I'd had that conversation with Darcy because it was a temporary blip and maybe she would have taken something from that."

Michael said they tried not to torment themselves about what they might have said because they will never know, so their message to others is "to keep talking".

Darcy's parents have organised a 62-mile (100km) trek across the Sahara Desert in her memory to raise awareness and money for Papyrus, a suicide prevention charity.

Michael said they had chosen to trek across the desert for the fundraising challenge because he and Darcy had taken a hot air balloon ride above it to celebrate her 16th birthday.

"It's one of my treasured moments of my life now because we can't repeat it," he added.

He said managing mental health and walking the Sahara Desert were very similar.

"Mental health is such a tough journey to navigate and walking the Sahara Desert is a tough trek - the analogies are there.

"You think you might be going at such a pace you might be able to reach miles, but you've only gone half-a-mile because it's so tough.

"It's the same with mental health.

"This journey is a tribute to Darcy and a message to the world that even in the harshest desert, a way forward can still be found."

The couple, who have organised many other fundraisers over the years, have invited people to join them on the five-day trek in November, with the aim to raise £100,000 for Papyrus.

"It's not just about raising the money, it's about creating awareness, breaking down the stigma of suicide because nobody likes to talk about it," Debbie said.

Debbie said Darcy had been an "unforgettable girl" who had had an impact on everyone she had met.

She said: "The only way that I can survive this is to make sure no-one lives this life I'm living, that Michael's living, her brother and sister and her friends are living.

"It's so painful that it's physical - you can feel it in your body."

Michael added: "You talk about suicide and it's one person. Well, it isn't.

"It's hundreds of thousands of people that are affected to some degree... the ripple effect is immense."

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