Father keeping teen son's memory alive by 'saving lives'

"Dad, I've missed my train."

It is the post-midnight phone call that many parents of teenage children will be all too familiar with.

Michael Buckett's 19-year-old son Ethan would never ask directly for a lift home while stranded in Leeds - more than 20 miles away from home.

"He'd always send a message saying, 'What are you doing?'" Michael recalls with a smile.

"I knew where the conversation was going. For me it was always, 'Fine, no problem, I'll come and get you.'

"He'd always say, 'No, no, no I don't want you to do that.'

"I'm like, 'Yes you do because you've rung me!'

"He never took it for granted."

It is a story that speaks to the unpretentious nature Ethan, a computing enthusiast and gaming lover, had his whole life, his father, originally from Manchester, says.

"He was a great kid, straight through school," says Michael, who lives in Silsden, near Bradford. "He wasn't any trouble, ever.

"He kept himself to himself most of his life. He had friends, but he was more at home sat on his headset playing online games with people."

Michael says that even with hindsight, there were never any signs that Ethan would take his own life, as he did in June 2024.

He was doing a digital marketing and media apprenticeship in Leeds at the time, had made a solid batch of friends with whom he would enjoy the city's nightlife and had "come out of his shell".

But one early summer weekend, Ethan stormed off after a "stupid argument" with his father.

Michael headed out on the Sunday morning in an effort to find him.

"It was around 08:00 and I had that feeling there was something not right," Michael recalls.

"He'd been out and not come back and was still angry.

"I went to go and find him, bring him back home and calm the situation down."

Michael cannot explain why, but "instinctively" he drove to a nearby location where it would transpire Ethan had died.

"I saw two police cars there and I knew instantly," he says.

Michael's request to see his son's body was rejected as it was not ready to be identified, but the pair of trainers found at the scene confirmed his worst fears.

Police later concluded Ethan had taken his own life.

Like any family grieving somebody lost to suicide, Ethan's loved ones were left with a litany of unanswered questions.

"Ultimately there was definitely a mental health issue, because if he got to the point where he felt like hurting himself was the only answer - whether he intended to kill himself that day or not, we'll never know.

"In our hearts we say he didn't, but we'll never know. That's the hardest part.

"I still don't think I've processed it fully."

In his memory, Ethan's friends organised a charity football game in Roundhay, Leeds, later the same year.

The game raised £5,000 for mental health charity Andy's Man Club, with the match now an annual fixture generating thousands of pounds each year.

It led to Michael setting up a community interest company called 'Forever 19', the name being a nod to Ethan's age when he died.

He has devised a programme for young people urging them to talk about their mental health and is hoping to bring it directly to local schools in the coming weeks and months. Ethan's former school in Manchester has also been approached.

A longer term ambition is to widen the scope of the scheme to bring in parents and help them broach the subject with their children in an open and honest way.

Michael says the company wants to "signpost kids in the right direction" as he believes there is a gap in the education system that needs filling.

"We're not counsellors and we're not GPs or CAMHS (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Services)," he explains. "They're all brilliant and we're not here to replace them.

"What about if we can be an early intervention where we stop them from getting to crisis point?

"It's just about getting kids to have that conversation around mental health. It's daft that we don't educate our kids on it. We talk to them about sex education, responsible drinking and crossing the road but we don't do mental health.

"We're just a family that have gone through this trauma and we don't want anyone else to go through it."

Michael, 49, references a recent BBC story which detailed how children as young as six were being admitted to A&E for mental health issues.

"That blows my mind that someone that young is attending A&E for mental health," he says.

After Ethan died, his friends made contact with Michael and they went for a night out together.

They exchanged memories and photos of the young man they were all grieving. A lasting bond has been forged between them ever since.

"They were sharing pictures of him that I'd not seen," Michael chuckles.

"There was one where he had six shot glasses in front of him. Obviously at 19, there are pictures you're not going to show your parents.

"I could still see the funny, outgoing kid I knew, but it was the funny outgoing kid that was out with his friends. It's been nice to discover that side of him."

He adds: "Those kids are amazing. We still check in with each other, they'll send me messages or they'll drop in and ask if we're going out for a curry.

"I lost Ethan, but I gained an entire family from those lads."

Michael, who runs a channel on TikTok focused around mental health, says his message for any young person struggling is to "find that one person you can talk to and talk to them.

"The key is finding that person you can trust and be honest with."

He says that despite the guilt he feels around Ethan's death, he believes his son can have a lasting legacy with Forever 19.

He wants everyone to know Ethan's name and story and ensure his life is not defined by the way he died.

"There will always be questions," he reflects. "I blame myself and that's not going to change.

"But I know the work we're doing now has the potential to save someone else's life and that is way bigger than any feelings I have about what I did or didn't do."

If you have been affected by any of the issues in this story, help and support is available at BBC Action Line.

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