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对未能实现的目标和计划感到 “disappointment（失望）” 是人之常情。不过，如果让失望长期主导我们的心态，就难免得不偿失。缓解失望的关键在于缩小期待与现实之间的落差；有时，我们还可以将失望转化为前进的动力，从而发现更多可能性。阅读本文，了解失望情绪从何而来，以及我们可以如何从容应对它。

词汇：disappointment 失望

1 We've all been there. Ending up with a worse exam result than you had hoped for or expected, a friend cancelling a plan you were really looking forward to, or your favourite sports team losing a game. Disappointment is an unhappy feeling when there is a gap between your expectations and reality, when something you desired failed to materialise. It's a normal and natural reaction, but what to do? Is it best to forget about it and move on, or allow yourself to feel the feels?

2 We often can't control what happens in life, but we can control how we respond when things don't go our way. Dr Radha Modgil, a UK family doctor and campaigner for wellbeing, says that we should take time to process the disappointment. "We can often feel the need to move on straight away or ignore our feelings, but if we take time to process them and talk them through, we can move forward in a healthier way," she says. Next, she advises us to see the opportunities. Things may not have worked out this time, but when one door closes, a different, more exciting door may have opened, in a way that may one day make you grateful for the initial disappointment.

3 The wider the gap between expectations and reality, the greater the disappointment. Make sure your goals are realistic, not idealistic, says Dr Annette Clancy, an organisational consultant who researches emotions in the workplace. Think about what a realistic result would be, rather than the perfect one. When waiting for something significant like a job offer or test result, her advice is to not get ahead of yourself. When we anticipate a positive result, we often start imagining a future that doesn't yet exist, and if that future doesn't materialise, we then have to grieve its loss, which can be upsetting.

4 Try not to take it personally. Disappointment might make you think, "I'm not good enough," and lead you to blame yourself, affecting your self-esteem. It may cause you to blame others, making you angry that they did not recognise your value. Dr Annette Clancy says both reactions miss the point. Instead, see disappointment as a signal that our expectations and reality are not aligned. Understanding this, she says, can be an important way to develop resilience.

测验与练习

一、将标题和段落配对。

Paragraph 1 _______
Paragraph 2 _______
Paragraph 3 _______
Paragraph 4 _______
Paragraph 5 _______

a. Pause and reflect on the disappointment
b. Avoiding taking risks to avoid disappointment
c. What is disappointment?
d. Manage expectations, manage disappointment
e. Success can lead to future disappointment
f. Don't blame yourself or others

二、根据文章内容选出正确的选项。

1. What does 'it' refer to in the following question? It's a normal and natural reaction, but what to do?
a. disappointment
b. failure
c. desire

2. When disappointment occurs, we should forget about it and move on.
a. True
b. False
c. Not given

3. We should choose goals that we think are achievable.
a. True
b. False
c. Not given

4. According to Dr Annette Clancy, why can unrealistic expectations make disappointment worse?
a. They make people work too hard.
b. They create an imagined future that may never happen.
c. They make us think we are not good enough.

5. This article recommends avoiding ambitious goals.
a. True
b. False
c. Not given

三、用下列单词完成对本文的总结。

When things don't go 1) _______ and you feel disappointed, try not to ignore the feelings and move on. Instead, 2) _______ with someone you trust. 3) _______ allows you to process what happened and move on from the disappointment in a healthier way. In the future, make sure that your expectations and reality are roughly 4) _______. That way, if your desires don't 5) _______, the disappointment won't feel so damaging.

your way
materialise
aligned
talk them through
grateful
idealistic
feeling the feels

（答案见词汇表后）

词汇表

be there 经历（某事）
materialise 实现，成为现实
feel the feels 充分感受自己的情绪，直面自己的感受
go (someone's) way 合（某人的）心意
talk (something) through 充分讨论（某事）
work out 成功，顺利进行
grateful 感激的
idealistic 理想化的
get ahead of oneself 想得太远，过早设想未来
grieve 为…悲伤
take (something) personally 往心里去，认为…是针对自己的
miss the point 没有抓住重点，没有领会要旨
aligned 一致的，相符的
resilience 韧性

答案

一、将标题和段落配对。

Paragraph 1 c) What is disappointment?
Paragraph 2 a) Pause and reflect on the disappointment
Paragraph 3 d) Manage expectations, manage disappointment
Paragraph 4 f) Don't blame yourself or others

二、根据文章内容选出正确的选项。

1. a. 'It' refers back to the previous sentence which begins defining by defining disappointment.

2. b.False.Dr Radha Modgil, a UK family doctor and campaigner for wellbeing, says that we should take time to process the disappointment.

3. a.True. Make sure your goals are realistic, not idealistic, says Dr Annette Clancy, an organisational consultant who researches emotions in the workplace.

4. b.When we anticipate a positive result, we often start imagining a future that doesn't yet exist, and if that future doesn't materialise, we then have to grieve its loss, which can be upsetting.

5. c.Not given. The article recommends avoiding unachievable goals but doesn't mention avoiding ambitious goals.

三、用下列单词完成对本文的总结。

When things don't go your way and you feel disappointed, try not to ignore the feelings and move on. Instead, talk them through with someone you trust. Feeling the feels allows you to process what happened and move on from the disappointment in a healthier way. In the future, make sure that your expectations and reality are roughly aligned. That way, if your desires don't materialise, the disappointment won't feel so damaging.