The Bureau de Change of the Mind - ‘A chocolate email’

John is hungry for sugar. John is going to be sad if there is no chocolate available. John is going to have to eat his own chocolate if he isn’t given any soon. Is the email we’ve received written in chocolate?

And lo, we enter the nether-realm, where we lose John to chocolate and Elis to a book sent in by a listener. It’s a book about an amateur rugby player, which prompts the question: where did all the money in amateur rugby go? Certainly not to the players.
If anyone knows the answer please do write in, but for goodness’ sake make sure the email is written in chocolate.